I'll Never Be Happy (feat. Sarah Gaygen)

Hey Zac, I wrote something. Can you play that one song again? There's something I should tell you and I don't know how to tell you and It makes me feel so guilty Watching you look so guilty This on me, it's not about you Well I guess, I mean that's not true I don't want to be the one to take away If this is our life then I shouldn't stay I lock up when you try to lift me I'm a chain and I want us to get free I guess I'll never be happy You know I'll never be happy I don't know how to be happy Why can't I ever be happy? We're not normal, that's clear to see I don't know how you even fell in love with me I can't believe, it's been some years now We've put up with me through it all somehow But it's gotten worse, I've fallen down I'm underwater and I think I'm gonna drown Would you please just throw me aside? I have a pain that I just can't hide I'm a failure at everything I do I really don't need to put that on you I guess I'll never be happy You know I'll never be happy I don't know how to be happy Why can't I ever be happy? It can end here, you can walk away I'll feel so much more worse if I stay Zac please, I don't want to hurt you The best way for that is to desert you I don't want to cause you the pain Please give me a chance to explain I'm not in a slump. I've changed. I'm never gonna be the person I was when we first met. I haven't even streamed in the last six months. That energy is gone and I don't know where it went. Every time I think about it I just get anxious and I don't think I can go back. I feel like I was a different person then. It's just like my violin, my skills atrophied a little bit and I just turned to streaming instead, and then I met you. You had this big dumb smile on your face all the time. And I did too, things were working out for me and I had someone to cheer me on. We went on all these adventures together but the whole time I felt like something was wrong and I just stopped... I just gave up on so many things. I got tired. Being with you became a routine. Just like streaming. I lost the joy in the familiarity. But you kept the same energy, you even put in all this extra effort when I was down... but it only made me feel worse. Unconditional. I don't want that. I want something to live up to... and I don't know what that is any more... or where to find it. But I know what it means... I'm sorry It means I'll never be happy You know I'll never be happy I don't know how to be happy Why can't I ever be happy? I know you'll outright deny it I refuse don't even try it I don't know how you can't see This is the story of me Thanks...