Florida Man

It's summertime in Florida no one's playing with the heat Those motherless mosquitos nearly swept me off my feet But the joke was all on them it tastes like whiskey when I bleed So me and those bloodsuckers went on back to my house to watch some TV And there's only one thing that I can't stand it's when they call me Florida Man I flipped the TV station to watch some local news Another White Male Politician with those Education Blues A python in the lobby, another pitbull in the school And some guy from Collier County selling AK-47s at a public pool But there's still one thing I still can't stand it's when they call me Florida Man Maybe we're a little eccentric but that don't make us fools Cause we're the Hurricane Eye State: nothing to fear, and plenty to lose I ain't superstitious, we got water issues here And no one will be laughing when our panthers disappear But I can't walk on water, hell I don't think I'll float So if you want to save the oceans, the beaches or the 'glades you better vote And that's why my Uncle Sam shakes his head at Florida Man Through Miami they travel, and Disney every year Tourists tearing up our turnpikes and they're drinking all our beer And they stop at every pit stop and call rednecks, freaks and queers But the asshole in the mirror is often closer than they appear There's still one thing that I can't stand when they call me Florida Man Maybe we're a little eccentric but that don't make us fools Cause we're the Hurricane Eye State: nothing to fear, but plenty to lose Nothing to fear, but plenty to lose No, nothing to fear, but plenty to lose