God's Honest Truth

I don't understand How you're everywhere I am And yet nowhere to be found at all A trick of physics, disorienting The pull and spin, unrelenting Can you even hear this song at all? Your voice still strong in my head My memory weak, what was it you said When I asked you where you found joy these days? Now the connection's lost, the line went dead No dial tone, just silence instead I'm sending out these desperate transmissions anyway And you're the one I want to help me through this But it's all on me and I don't think I can do this To tell God's honest truth, I don't want to To tell the God awful truth, I really don't want to I've been trying to look through your eyes To see what you'd see if you were still alive An educated guess is the best that I can get It's been five years now that you've been gone We bought a house with a view of the woods from the lawn And I think of you when I'm watching fireflies from my deck And nobody ever wants to be the one to go through this Now I'm wondering who's gonna be the one to help my kids through it To tell God's honest truth, I don't even know how to To tell the God awful truth, I really don't want to Your voice still strong in my head Now I think I might know what you might've said If I could ask you where to find joy these days You'd say all we have is gift And all we have to do is live And lean as hard as we can into it where we find grace And I'm the one who has to go through this But I know that you're there helping me through it To tell God's honest truth, I'm still not sure how to To the God's honest truth, I still don't want to