Hold Back

The first was why I left And the second's why I'm back And then I got addicted To a whole bottle of Jack I thought I had my life together I thought I'm back on track But i don't know if I'll move on Because I'm always holding back Love can be a dream you want but know that you can't have Or a nightmare that you can't wake up from, yeah this shit don't last She thought I was gonna make it, she was only after cash I was giving her my all, and she still bringing up my past There was a time I said I loved you Nah f*ck that, cause we're done I thought we'd go until the end But I guess I'm just for fun I thought we would go to Vegas Or one day we'd have a son But you played me like a fiddle I guess I was your hit and run How you gonna tell your folks How you put me on the ropes I asked if you love me You said 'not even close' Every time I write You were calling me a goat But that to the point that you crush all my hopes I've wasted all my life on you But now I'm done All I did was show you sympathy I thought I won But I was wrong, I was wrong Cause you went on the run I saw you as my girl But you saw me just for fun I really thought there was a "we" and then I saw the other five But maybe there can be an "us", maybe in another life Ha, nah I lied, cause I can find another wife I wrote a song for your birthday and you still chose the other guy The first was why I left And the second's why I'm back And then I got addicted To a whole bottle of Jack I thought I had my life together I thought I'm back on track But i don't know if I'll move on Because I'm always holding back When we met that one summer Then you chose another guy You didn't think about me All the nights I went and cried I told you I had trust issues And you still lied Give me back that whole year When we met on 4th of July But I forgive you After everything you did, I forgive you But I still don't ever want you back That's the one thing I won't give you Satisfaction You may have helped me find my passion But you were always a distraction I loved you for a while, and then that changed Because one thing happened to us, yeah we aged But I still don't understand, why was I the one to blame? You thought I was your ex, you really thought I wouldn't change I'm not the one who lost Cause you losing all your friends First your ex and then you lost me And your actions, super costly I still see you in my nightmares Cause you always try to haunt me You just tossed me like I'm trash Like I'm your dirty laundry But I'll wait And I'll keep waiting for the day that we meet One last time Who knows what's gonna happen? It might be the last time Cause when you cut me out your life It was only halftime But now it's the fourth quarter Let's end it Stop saying you're the victim Stop pretending Cause you hurt me and your ex You said he doesn't give a shit And made me feel like I'm up next But even though I hate you I still wish for one more talk I still wish for one more walk Not to send me any threats Or my car that you would stalk I really thought there was a we I really thought we were team I really thought we'd be together Things ain't always how they seem Even when you didn't talk to me, you're still all of my streams But maybe I'll wake up and this will all just be a dream The first was why I left And the second's why I'm back And then I got addicted To a whole bottle of Jack I thought I had my life together I thought I'm back on track But i don't know if I'll move on Because I'm always holding back