All the World's a Stage

They say that all the world's a stage And we are all but actors thrust thereon But some of us just don't know when to stop And must needs cut a short story long And from the first unfolding of the drama Through denoument and that final curtain call We know that from the start We are bound to play a part And bathe in glory where that spotlight falls And bathe in glory where that spotlight falls Like my forbears before me I will nobly tread the boards Good doctor, cut that cord, lo, here I am As I uttered my first breath I entered stage left The young man rumbustuous in his pram And by Act 1, Scene 3 My first soliloquy Cast off that nappy, throw it in the bin And with a wave of the hand, and other gestures grand Bring forth the potty, fill it to the brim Cos'they say that all the world's a stage And we are all but actors thrust thereon But some of us just don't know when to stop And must needs cut a short story long And from the first unfolding of the drama Through denouement and that final curtain call We know that from the start We are bound to play a part And bathe in glory where that spotlight falls And bathe in glory where that spotlight falls On to Act Three, Scene 2, ah, the supermarket queue "Good Morning to you on this fateful day To fight the good fight, then exit checkout stage right "Once more unto the bleach" as the bard would say And on entering my local, still wax exceeding vocal "Landlord, pull me a pint of your finest brew Adopt the grand persona with Quentin and Fiona "To the toilet I must go, my aim is true "To the toilet I must go, my aim is true! (Well, almost!) Cos'they say that all the world's a stage And we are all but actors thrust thereon But some of us just don't know when to stop And must needs cut a short story long And from the first unfolding of the drama Through denoument and that final curtain call We know that from the start We are bound to play a part And bathe in glory where that spotlight falls And bathe in glory where that spotlight falls Wife's given the green light, for a chap's night ite Fearless to that discotheque with loud hurrah If music be the food of love perchance "Play on, Dutch courage, shall we dance "I've got my mojo working, backseat of the car Rove the hand undo the bra, unzip the fly Trousers round ankles, (Enter wife) "Enter wife, er that's b not in the script "I can explain ", I'm lost for words e rub ub ub ub ub ub er "I am undone! Cos'they say that all the world's a stage And we are all but actors thrust thereon But some of us just don't know when to stop And must needs cut a short story long And from the first unfolding of the drama Through denouement and that final curtain call We know that from the start We are bound to play a part And bathe in glory where that spotlight falls And bathe in glory where that spotlight falls