Blame it on the Male Menopause

Don't blame it on the weather why I'm crying in my beer Don't blame it on my old hound dog that said "woof, I'm outa here Don't blame it on the words of this old country song I sang Don't blame it on my woman that took away my everythang And don't blame it on that passenger train that took my woman that was carrying My everythang away And left me here drowning my here and now in my used to be I'll tell you the reason that I'm drinking whiskey, beer and wine my friend And I'll tell you the reason why I'm slowly going round the bend I'll tell you why I fergit everythang that comes into my head I even fergit to remember to fergit the next line of this song, so I'll have to make Up some garbage instead So I went to see my doctor and said "help me, doc oh why Am I in this state I'm in and this was his reply, and he said Blame it on the male menopause. He's small and he's hairy with sharp teeth and claws And I'm gonna get that littlesonofabitch, just because he's the cause When yer git ter fifty doesn't life just kick you in the (Shhhh !you know where I'm gonna hunt him down and weed him out, because it's plain to me He's the reason that I'm not the mayern I used to be Diddle ay hee o yay hee oh yay hee I looked under the floorboards, behind the TV and the chaise longe Thought I heard him up in the roof or maybe I was wrong No there he goes agin, so maybe I was right That mangy critter that makes me nee to go to the baithroom in the middle of the night He gives me those hot flushes, yes a mayern can git them too you see And I still can't find that ornery dawg that done this thang to me So I'll just blame it on the male menopause And I'm gonna get that littlesonofabitch, just because he's the cause When yer git ter fifty doesn't life just kick you in the teeth I'm gonna hunt him down and weed him out, because it's plain to me He's the reason that I'm not the mayern I used to be Diddle ay hee o yay hee oh yay hee I went to see this woman, and I took my doctor's note She said she was a counsellor, musta worked for the council I suppose She put on a CD by some guy called Enya, and bid me to confide She said "Tell me all about it dear, let me put you in touch with your feminine side But when she heard my story she burst into tears and charged me £35 plus vat Said if you can't cope with the change of life then try a change of key Blame it on the male menopause And I'm gonna get that littlesonofabitch, just because he's the cause When yer git ter fifty doesn't life just kick you where it hurts I'm gonna hunt him down and weed him out, because it's plain to me He's the reason that I'm not the mayern I used to be Diddle ay hee o yay hee oh yay hee