Eastbourne Viagra Blues

Well, I woke up this morning With a twinkle in my eye Well I woke up this morning, spring in my step, glad to be alive Though I was 92 last week, doctor gave me these pills Which made me feel like I'm 25 No more afternoon naps now, Doris No more gentle strolls along the prom No more moaning about the price of things No more playing bowls from this moment on Cos I'm a testosterone fuelled rocket Ugh! I'm a sex machine so turn me on Gonna head on down to Eastbourne, Doris Like that Bionic Man, I've been remade Gonna head on down to Eastbourne, Doris Where everyone is 85 in the shade Though they call it the Costa Geriatrica Those passionkiller Marks and Spencers knickers Ain't gonna stop me getting my wicked way No more of them toasted teacakes Wave goodbye to those buttered "scewnes No more of them toasted teacakes now Say goodbye to those buttered "scewnes that's how they say 'scones' in Eastbourne No more delicate bone china teacups Gonna spew up my 15 pints of rotweiler lager in the road Gonna throw way that zimmerframe, babe I think I'm seeing red I'm gonna listen to that sound of shattering glass Gonna kick in someone's head Cos I shot a man in Brighton Cos he wouldn't speak up so I could hear what he said Won't you squeeze my teabag Till the juice runs down my chins Squeeze my teabag Till that juice runs all down my chins Got that lead back in my pencil And that zing back in my dingaling Because my doctor's given me these pills, now Feel like I'm born again My doctor's given me this Viagra pills Old John Thomas will rise again Ooh I say So I'm off on my club 85/100 holiday Silver shaggers here we come