Song for Desmond

Way down yonder close to Milton Keynes They lead the sort of life you see in magazines Inside a rabbit hutch made of bricks and glass There lives a little dream called Shangri-La Who never ever learned to use a hammer or a plane But she could be a super shopper Hubby drives a white Sierra Flashing lights behind you knee jerk salesman Down the outside lane But what does she do when the lights go out Or the heating won't co-operate And hubby is away on business And won't get back till late No problem, cos she's Got a little man who comes and does things Got a little man who's there at her call He'll paint a cupboard door, put wires on plugs With his little tap, tap and his brick out of the wall Doesn't cost a bomb, he knows his place Always tidies up without leaving a trace It's just between me and you The things that little man can do They say he can perform the most amazing stunts They say he even knitted his own Y-fronts She brings back all her shopping down the cul-de-sac Checks her shoes for doggy poos and starts to unpack Loads of Marks and Spencers' £9.99 Going to take this back and give a piece of her mind Complains about the council not picking up the leaves While hubby plays for high stakes And goes for maximum breaks Hatching schemes and making dreams With ways and means not excluding Funny hand shakes But she's no Venus in Battledress Carries no Swiss Army blade And when the key won't turn because the lock's too stiff Who'll come to her aid NO need to worry 'cos Got a little man who comes and does things Got a little man who's there at her call He'll paint a cupboard door, put wires on plugs With his little tap, tap and his brick out of the wall Doesn't cost a bomb, he knows his place Always tidies up without leaving a trace It's just between me and you The things that little man can do They say he can perform the most amazing stunts They say he even knitted his own Y-fronts He carries his tools in a little blue van Just like he did when they first began He whistled while he worked She made a cup of tea They went somewhere private to talk about money She tells her friends about him While her hair is being dried What would she do without him How would she get through She says one day his name will be in lights He even says his aitches when he remembers to He's so loyal he almost wags his tail Faithful like old Gunga Din And just like the US Cavalry He'll always come steaming in No, no, no problem 'cos she's Got a little man who comes and does things Got a little man who's there at her call He'll paint a cupboard door, put wires on plugs With his little tap, tap and his brick out of the wall Doesn't cost a bomb, he knows his place Always tidies up without leaving a trace It's just between me and you The things that little man can do They say he can perform the most amazing stunts They say he even knitted his own Y-fronts Way down yonder close to Milton Keynes They lead the sort of life you see in magazines Inside a rabbit hutch made of bricks and glass There lives a little dream called Shangri-La