White Boots

Well, I practiced hard for hours in the mirror Squawking and squealing my heart away I filled in the form for the audition And just couldn't wait until the big day I'll be headed to the land of celebrity Dazzled with that vision of stars in my eyes Just think of all that sand and sea and shopping Waiting for me when I've won that prize If only I hadn't sung "I Will Survive If only I'd stayed in tune If only I'd worn my white boots Then I'm sure I would of got through If only I'd worn my white boots I'm sure I would of got through I'd even got my sob story all lined up Of a childhood of trauma and woe Me dad would have crawled out of the woodwork When I got to that final show Me gran would have been blubbering for England Me mum with her fists in the air And all me mates would text in their votes And my first single would be played everywhere If only I hadn't sung "I Will Survive If only I'd stayed in tune If only I'd worn my white boots, Then I'm sure I would of got through If only one of those judges could of recognised real talent If only they could just of said "yes I reckon they were all taking backhanders I can't understand why they weren't impressed Oh well, it's back to the karaoke night at the pub All me dreams have sort of melted away I suppose I'll just have to regroup And who does Simon Cowell think he is anyway If only I hadn't sung "I Will Survive If only I'd stayed in tune If only I'd worn my white boots Then I'm sure I would of got through Yes, If only I'd worn my white boots Then I'm sure I would of got through