Mama Know I Tried

It's not my big lock on the door that makes me safe It ain't whatever I got in the drawer next to the bed that makes me safe I lay down and I go to sleep because I know who my God is Mom, I hope you know I tried Last night I couldn't sleep I felt it slipping away from me Pain was in your voice I seen it staying Thought we all defeated Claimed it in the name of Jesus Got the answer I was seeking That's why I can't believe it F*ck a Jesus and a Christ Bitch, I put that on my life And I'll never pray again Out of mind and out of sight What she believed in Put her trust in you And yet you still failed her I watched my mom suffer Yet she still wasn't rebellious Glorified your name like the good book tells us I always gave you praise Even though you fucking failed her I prayed for the answer You took another angel Murder after murder What's supposed to be our savior According to the scriptures Know who asked and shall receive Bullshit So miraculous But can't even cure cancer Give a blind man's sight Crippled man started dancing David slew Goliath and survived the lions den But my mama died from pancreas Cancer don't lie again Mama, I hope you know I tried That night I couldn't sleep I felt it slipping away from me Pain was in your voice I seen it stage 4 We got defeated Claimed it in the name of Jesus Got the answer I was seeking Therefore I dont believe it If I said it then I mean it Motherfucker, f*ck a family I don't need y'all support Stay the f*ck from around me I don't even love my own kids You know it's fucked you Mama, I hope you know I tried And I did it all for you At your memorial they praised Kim Johnny played me like a sucker Didn't even mention your boys And he called hisself yo brother I swear to God I love her You know me I would have flushed him Now how the f*ck y'all love my mama if y'all didn't support me My mama loved y'all regardless how y'all did her If something happened to y'all she would have comforted all y'all children Y'all made it personal Trying to appease the siblings Out of respect for my mama The reason that I didn't kill you Mama, I hope you know I tried That night I couldn't sleep I felt it slipping away from me Pain was in your voice I seen it Stage 4 we got defeated Claimed it in the name of Jesus Got the answers I was seeking Therefore I don't believe it Mama, I hope you know I tried That night I couldn't sleep I felt it slipping away from me Pain was in your voice I seen it Stage 4 we got defeated Claimed it in the name of Jesus Got the answers I was seeking Therefore I don't believe it