My Dearest Kermit

I once met a lass Boy did she kick ass Like Einstein learning ABC's Her town sure wasn't clean They had a dairy queen But the roads were all made of swiss cheese I could be way too sure But I think we can concur That tesla coils will not be missed I swear to Jesus Christ If my orange plunge has ice I'll be removing my uterus Can you check the time I can't think of a rhyme Let's do another one Microwaves are scary So is little When she has a rubber band gun Oh darling won't you play me some frantic ukulele The gas pedal's about to snap Sorry to alarm I didn't mean harm When I compared you to a flat billed cap Sheep shaving's cool But I feel like a tool When I forget to shut my face So how's it sound We could dance around And kill off the human race