Can't Take It

My back's against the wall Trying too hard not to fall I stopped answering calls All I got is my word and my balls I'm tired of feeling used So abused and misused Always played for a fool My heartbeat's quiet and bruised Die or live by gripping a tool So much pain infused Streets never play by rules I just wanna shine like jewels Reminiscing years without Mike Crazy to see mountains we hike Just a handful of niggas left Came so far from days of theft Gotta few niggas that's locked Gotta few niggas that's pine boxed Hustle was never knocked Life's a bitch that outfoxed A lot of youngins dreams Nightmares were real life scenes You seen someone breathe a last time Or fear in eyes from the flash of a nine Honestly probably not Masking my emotions a lot Showing love will get you got Climax becomes a dirt plot Seeing death before adolescence Why I question God's presence If every decision's a lesson Why did Mike face a Smith N' Wesson Yo we were really wilding See niggas on islands smiling Look at success accomplished Instead I'm living guarded Cause tomorrow's not promised My tears are discarded From a life bombarded Say my prayers for the departed Senseless death and loss Is this the cost of a Boss Michael Corleone visions Soldiers lost on missions I can't take it anymore Grip a four-four kick in doors Blood splatter decorates decor Ice and I had to settle scores Demons wanted that get back Roll like ceelo for a head crack Couldn't rest until Mike's avenged His death was hard to comprehend Our tear drops aren't tatted Killer's within remain hidden Can't believe that one nigga ratted Now it has to be good riddance Waking up to feel this prison Wish I could see my fallen arisen Loved ones on memory pendants VV's shine for their remembrance Life's real when you're a defendant How will I feed my dependent When I'm behind concrete slabs Freedom is what the judge grabs You can't understand what I feel Is Heaven even real Did the Devil and God make a deal I take a moment to kneel Father forgive me for transgressions I have so many unanswered questions You know my intent to load weapons Life changes in seconds And I can feel these possessions Taking a hold of my impressions Demons working their deceptions Feeding off of my depressions Workings of a damaged mind Search for a soul I can't find My lost innocence as a youth Crying so many tears in this booth How much more can I take Is this meant to make me great When I smile it's fake All of my love turned to hate And I can't figure out when Not knowing if I'll be the same again You're made mice or made men My dead and locked down I represent