Forgiveness Letter

I originally wrote this as a forgiveness letter And I'd hoped it could make us all a little bit better But now I see that it doesn't matter Cause you don't want to be a father I wrote this a year ago And I think you saw it as a joke But I meant it I wasn't just trying to put on a show I really wanted you to know That you had my forgiveness and my friendship But now I see that you don't think I meant it You've made me want to empty a whole damn clip Into my brain just a little bit You taught me what not to do and taught me what wasn’t cool You think we hate you and yeah typically you'd fit the shoe You could leave me and my mom black and blue People can change I thought that wasn’t true But thanks to you I know what I never want to be I used to pray that you would leave I'd ask God please Take him out of my life so I can die in peace But now I’ll take a reprieve Go to hell or die in a hole All lies and you're so full Of hate that I pray for your soul Your past is dirtier than the oldest piece of coll You create lies and deceit for yourself Do you know how long it's been since I've felt? I can still hear the sound of pain from your belt It's confusing as Hell but I know I'm compelled You create pain and you make that hurt last You know it doesn't go away fast But I forgave you and in case you felt sad Here again are my words from the past You’re never too far from redemption You’re just not getting our attention We aren't who you need to confess conviction We all want you back you can't even imagine We had our bad times and you could hit sometimes But your worst moments gave me my best components Like patience and kindness I couldn’t thank you enough for this So for that I am glad that you were my dad And I promise you that I'm not mad Yes, you've done so much bad But I still forgive you dad I'm tired of everyone being so sad Call God and ring the bells My dad is gone forever he fell You've made our life a living hell You were our jail cell And this can still be a forgiveness letter If you'd just let yourself get better The past doesn't at all have to matter Remembering it just makes us all sadder And it makes me a whole lot madder When you say that you don't matter Cause that is a stretch you'd need a latter If your family was glass they'd be shattered Get your act together And become a real father Nobody here wants to see you falter Do it for me, my sisters, and brothers And she deserves better so do it for my mother She's waiting for the day that you hold her Before you hit her but instead treat her sweeter Trust me none of us want to stay bitter Yeah twenty years down the drain Shut up and let me complain because My father was not a real father He was just a damn good impostor