Pages of Pain

Uh my mama said I wouldn't die in a time my life was dark I said I'd tatt that on my arm but I keep that in my heart And even at my lowest I'll still give you all of me I look up to the sky and out of everyone you call for me I'm sitting in my room feel the rain would only fall for me I try and touch your hand but the heavens way to tall for me Until that day I picked up my pen Grandma read me bible stories said I'd be like them Yea uh Strengthen me to speak to your people I don't got a voice And tell all my demons go to hell and they ain't got a choice I wear this Jesus piece and pray to God I hope this fight don't last My mama praying for me just begging me to light my path I wanna make a change but I guess they got the right to laugh And every tear that fell would turn to words that I would write in class Just reminisce to fights we had the love was always strong I wrote pages of pain pain you can't hear in a song That type of pain you need to feel Broken hearts are hard to heal Grip the pen or grip the steel No need to try and be real chill Believe me I know since that's all I ever had Ripped pages after pages writing letters to my dad I gave it my all with just a page and a pencil Alone in my room just replaying instrumentals Every beat loop was chain off mental And every chain that fell was a permanent reminder That my mother made me strong and I needed to stay behind her Living off songs that I wrote in my binder Lost in my mind but always managed to find her I care for people then tell me how I'm bad at this One stone can kill two birds and that ain't nothing close to Atticus At 5 I made a promise still believe that I would keep it You was writing about this pain till you told me I should speak it You believed in who I was and I swear it was no secret If the limit is the sky why they doubt I can reach it Told me I'm a gift from God that's why you gave me this name I was still growing up just thinking how far we came From apartments to houses to the clouds in the sky 18 Years living and I'm asking him why I promised moms I'm gonna make it there's no reason to cry They told I could never that's one reason to try I got my feet up of the concrete I just hope I can fly From my scars I swear they spite me I can't fall now my brother wants to be just like me If I use this broken chain I can really choke this demon now Except the roles are flipped if I ain't screaming then I'm screaming now I seen my friend get locked the block was hot and so it's steaming now I seen my father struggle so I know that I ain't dreaming now Please pinch me I'm trying to paint a picture of pain just like Da Vinci I'm trying to give you all the pain and passion bottled in me Yea So far they said I've been too far Search and you'll find exactly who you are