Anhedonia

I haven't brushed my teeth in nearly three days Got no reason reason reason I quit my degree Agoraphobia in Mum's house I'll stay Use my phone a MBDTF way I give up no real drive I'm in a bad way Oh when the stakes were high I cared but that shit is over now You put your time into my takedown was clowned forced out no clout So onto dole stingy check every month public eyes I'm a sponge I apply have a hunch I am blacklisted, feels that way I've no XP on my CV that I blanketed, give me a chance Thank you Lucy nepotism on minimum wage now but it's something I am not ready, going outside is a fear and it's deathly but I do it I am not carried, staying inside I get sneers it's unhealthy I say screw it I am not lazy just unwell not excuses or a self-delusion So I quit yet again Back to start Wake at 3 noon and I masturbate and then Back to bed a sleep state I feel like shit when I wake so on YouTube actuate my brain stem Write a life plan You're not done Your inner life as you define you da one They don't get it yet respect have own fun The Price of Shame is that you hide from the Sun Thank Monica every day because she won Took her life back so respect that and learn from Relight the match inside me commit arson My inner fire's back so I will come for life against all the strife So please do not try, discredit and vie For my destruction, I am not the one I will never die, I'm on a mission I will still get mine, force through my freedom I can save my life All this high talk Where is it going Insecurity showing Repeat my mantra day fin Nowt done next day I'll try it I said next day I'll try it Yesterday as a buy in I just need more remindin' You're not done Your inner life as you define you da one They do get it yet respect have own fun The Price of Shame is that you hide from the Sun Thank Monica every day because she won Took her life back so respect that and learn from Relight the match inside me commit arson My inner fire's back so I will get on the attack and point out your fuckshit is wack Anhedonia is a fuckery Of the mind it is hot like a cookery Yet the limbs cold and limp like a butchery My brain has a shite apothecary I am still alive, I will soon appreciate this My choices all mine, leave and learn own power and shit Life ain't always nice, build an emotional toolkit To then survive And then thrive all of the damn time Middle finger to my old life There is no hope self-hate you lied