Nervous Decline

I am not nothing Just feel like nothing much today I am having a poorly brain An up and down mental health day I better someday It's just that day is not today So I will try take things easy Need some self-kindness fragile state Depression I don't know what to do Ah-eye-ah-eye-eye Lethargy sets in I regress and then I just feel oh-so crude I wish I could find A place of peace that's free from trauma And bullies and makes good friends And lets me sleep and Goes down to the shop for me My safety blanket wish I had it on the street Or my frayed childhood bear teddy I've Ner-vous Decline I wake past noon and I frown Feels like I've failed stalled lost ground Cannot get back wasted ow-ow-ow-wers I make my eggs and bacon Watch TV post masturbation Play podcasts for motivation Try to start the day Oh, happy happy Confident better make it snappy Lift the blinds Mocking blue skies I'm trying Try my best today Oh I say Not good enough self-hate Ooh I make Great effort burns to make Fake smiling Fake smile fake smile I ache Backsliding Habits, thoughts of old take Judgements made Tool fool or needy Private shame Abuse trauma mistakes Melty brai-i-ain You see I'm hurtin' I'm frayin' I almost want to Can't finish that line yet cause It might come true You're holding my mind hostage I wanna be free I try keep my head down Not one frown be meek Yet you still chase me My demons I feel weak My past traumas mistakes Now CPTSD I am low down in the ground And the strangers on streets frown And future fail-ee-yur bound This is why downtempo sound But I can fight back start now I must fight noone else round I will find my might get proud I can be happy guard down I re-mind myself that it will be okay On my, worst worst days When I lose the energy To define my life's journey I work on some small things tell brain If I may I will get you I will get you I will get you, yes I will I will get you out the blues I'm telling you, yes I am I'm telling you, yes I am I'm telling you, yes I am I'm telling you