Unlearning

I am questioning beliefs I'm not nothing, lazy, you see Did not believe, stained me crazy You do not control me Mother, Philip and Michael I tolerated the abuses Mental, physical, sexual You disrespect, defile my temple Rage bubbles All those at my school In my moods Throw chairs, throw hands, mull Taunt the bull Get what comes to you Diddly Hold mood make rage serve me Don't feel blue I'll be with you through Trying times Remind you of life's Blessings, guide You through winds, rains, tides You'll survive In time you will thrive Wish I'd been to self more kind Like when I became plus then UD I was thrice homeless fight dog For room in home of frenemy Confused, I Meet old men feel alive Naïve, I Said yes meant no polite Had white saviour problem That's why I caused problems At Uni 2 so dumb Nervous breakdown, troubled I can't hide Denial is not pride To survive Must unlearn and bide This is life Missteps, I must abide Say goodbye Trauma bonds and false pride Don't feel blue I'll be with you through Trying times Remind you of life's Blessings, guide You through winds, rains, tides You'll survive In time you will thrive I cannot do this for you You are in the driver's seat Won't heal exponentially Some steps forward some backward, see All that I wanted Go get it started Looking for an answer Someday I'll find it All this pain In my life All in vain No more strife I resolve To feel light Make changes Be my own guide