Reflection

Man in the mirror, I wish that he would disappear He's lookin' at me with pain, if he could bust through the pane, he'd probably turn around in fear Nah we was never the same, I'd always give him the blame I hate to see him appear I'd hear 'em callin' his name, and I was always the ashamed, I never looked in him clear Shit Now I'm just a shell of a man, one hell of a man Sometimes I barely feel like the man, can't help what I am Well now I know I'm only a man, I do what I can From fire to pan, been biting the hand, been fighting the plan Been tryin' to speak shit to life, ain't a soothsayer I'm just tryna— give God these battles ain't no peacemaker Tryna wear a— smile on my face I can't be no faker Feels like I been— losin' the race I'm still my worst hater Y'all don't know I'm suit and tie-ing all of my suicidal tendencies I'm a professional emo, I'm killin' the weakness My remedy is to smother my ego with alcohol and a strain When I'm feelin' the rain, wash off all the pressure and pain When the depression is present, try not to reflect on my aim It's all in my brain, I tell myself it's all in my brain I'm working to change, but future brings anxiety chains If life is a game, how long until my health regains Pray for my— enemies so when I beat them I'm stronger This ain't forever it's longer If this my road I'm a Honda nah f*ck it I'ma Challenger cause I'm dodgin' these demons They plottin' and schemin' whenever I get low they be singing I really be thinkin', am I up on this rock for a reason I weather my seasons, I add up wins and losses they even I really can't even, I'm odd as f*ck, don't give me a reason I swear I'm nice until you give me a reason Man in the mirror, I wish that he would disappear He's lookin' at me with pain, if he could bust through the pane, he'd probably turn around in fear Nah we was never the same, I'd always give him the blame I hate to see him appear I'd hear 'em callin' his name, and I was always the ashamed, I never looked in him clear Shit Now I'm just a shell of a man, one hell of a man Sometimes I barely feel like the man, can't help what I am Well now I know I'm only a man, I do what I can From fire to pan, been biting the hand, been fighting the plan Been tryna spread myself out to give to everybody You say you need me, believe me, I'll be there for anybody Nobody need me well on that day, it's f*ck everybody No one believes you until they come identify your body Every time I look at my reflection I can see objections stuck in my complexion I am so perplexed at why I chose defection All this people pleasing, gave me an infection After recollection, now it begs the question Where did all this come from, no more self-deception Maybe lack of love, attention, since conception Maybe pent aggression, guess that's my confession I need intervention, time for introspection Finally I found it, genuine connection No more are the days of drowning in depression Now I have conviction, time for new direction After self-inspection, I am imperfection But I'm worth respectin' and deserve affection Time for resurrection, time to learn to love Slip my iron hand into a velvet glove