MENTAL ILLS

The world rarely gets to know our secrets We hide it behind fabricated smiles, mad dog grills, and resting bitch faces We bite the blood out of innocent tongues, wrench hair out from arms, legs and heads We carve episodes in our flesh and fight demons daily I get it - you don't understand it High anxiety, depression It ain't no game, it's A battleground every day I'm Just trying maintain On the border of sick and insane And I get it - you don't understand it If you ain't swallow this pill It's hard to believe it's real I pray One day you'll understand it's Like I'm Riding hell on wheels Rolling on these mental ills ADHD Can't focus on a damn thang Trying to hold on to gigs I shouldn't have, man Imposter syndrome got me feeling I ain't good enough Wondering when they gonna realize and pull the plug It seems like everything I have's never good enough Or I'm not good enough for everything I have, it's just Another day another panic Ripping the hair out of my arms While my breathing is erratic Scattered thoughts are on the tragic Trying to pull rabbits out of hats Every day to make magic Every day we survive is a miracle And some days you know the pain is unbearable Real talk, sometimes I just wanna end it all Get up on the highest mountain ain't free fall But I know I got a lot more to live for So I rise up and I March on I get it - you don't understand it High anxiety depression It ain't no game, it's A battleground every day I'm Just trying maintain On the border of sick and insane And I get it - you don't understand it If you ain't swallow this pill It's hard to believe it's real I pray One day you'll understand it's Like I'm Riding hell on wheels Rolling on these mental ills Second guessing everything that I ever do Making monsters out of shadows in the bedroom The spotlight is the sun trying to swallow me But I understand why you don't follow me I know It ain't easy to deal With a mind that goes zero to 100 mad quick like it's unreal But its real when it's too much and too late And I'm begging for a key up at the heaven's gate And you wishing you could go back and hear me out Pull me out of the dark before I check out You ain't know that anxiety's a heavy weight You ain't know my happiness was an inmate I understand that you can't understand But I pray you understand and you reach for my hand Cuz sometimes I'm so close to the edge Might be no turning back till I'm dead-dead I get it - you don't understand it High anxiety depression It ain't no game, it's A battleground every day I'm Just trying maintain On the border of sick and insane And I get it - you don't understand it If you ain't swallow this pill It's hard to believe it's real I pray One day you'll understand it's Like I'm Riding hell on wheels Rolling on these mental ills Sometimes I'm staring at my Queen like damn she beautiful And then I think there ain't no way the feeling's mutual Cuz I don't feel that I deserve a woman that good Am I too scarred - am I too hood some days it's mad hard to fear forward Trying to find the fortitude to move onward And I sink a little deeper when I'm on one And it feels like almost every day I'm on one Amplifying whispers in the cut Thinking all the hate's about me And everybody doubts me But it's really just me against me All day wrestling against my own heartbeat But you can't tell me that the world ain't against me I catch waves of self hate and insecurities Every day is a fight to survive When anxiety and stress is on stress is overdrive I get it - you don't understand it High anxiety depression It ain't no game, it's A battleground every day I'm Just trying maintain On the border of sick and insane And I get it - you don't understand it If you ain't swallow this pill It's hard to believe it's real I pray One day you'll understand it's Like I'm Riding hell on wheels Rolling on these mental ills