Crying Inside

I try 2 run from the pain but I cant shake it I'm losing loved ones around me and i can't take it Feel like im shit outta luck and cant escape it (I cant escape it) I keep on hearing them tell me that chaz aint make it (Cuz aint make it) I neva felt so much pain it hurt my soul (It hurt my soul) I'll neva grow with my cousin until we old They took my nigga 4 nothing he had a kid They killed my cousin outside of my auntie crib That's right where he lived thats right where he stayed My auntie found my cousin laying in the driveway When they told me u got shot i was on my way praying 2 god u beat the odds they said u passed away Den 3 years later we lost ton 2 We had 2 bury my nigga where we put chaz 2 We had 2 carry them caskets up 2 the hearse 2 I seen my cousins both lifeless it hurt my soul 2 When u look into my eyes tell me What u see What didnt kill me made me stronger plus it made a beast Some of my niggas aint here died in the streets I talk 2 them while they lay under my feet Are they roaming or they resting in peace I cant believe they said melvin died in his sleep He had a wedding in just a couple of weeks It fucked me up and it made me not wanna sleep Its times i think about grandma and I just cry Cant get no more hugs and kisses tears in my eyez I stood right there in the room and watched her chest Body broke down as soon as she took her breathe My nana say pray 2 god he got the answer My mama had many surgeries and still got cancer I get emotional thinking bout losing mama Cause aint nobody goin love me more than my mama Aint nobody going deal with me like my mama And wont no one keep it real just like my mama I cant believe that my granddaddy no longer here Im losing weight not from eating but sheding tears I look around and im losing all of my peers If I told u i love u I was sincere U cant say that u love me if u ain't here When people show u they colors they made it clear I pray 2 god do he listen I got some people in yo presence im missing Heart barely beating like im dying inside Cant whip these tears cause I'm crying inside