A PART OF ME

Sometimes i ask god why? But i know gods not to be questioned Lately i have a lot on my mind Not a day goes by Where i don't think why? Im thinking Of praying to god Then i pray to god It just all seems odd Im through Everyday different moods I don't know what to do I don't know what to not I want to ask Am i doing alright? Am i doing just fine? Or am i screwing my life? Its confusing Cause every time That i think I'm improving A good guy But i feel that I'm losing The substance abusing Is gone i don't use it Im high off of music My mama still cries All the time and I hate That i can't help her through it Hate that I can't help her through it I don't think She understands how I'm doing I can't believe All the shit that we lived All the shit that he did Wasn't shit in the fridge Wasn't shit in the fridge I saw it all Life's a bitch For that shit Now i sit with a itch I just wish i was rich I just wish I was rich All them nights as a kid All the fights that we seen All the nights full of screams All the nights full of screams All the Nightmares Wasn't in my dreams Exhausted but I couldn't sleep I was 12 hitting on that green The only time That my mama slapped me Fast forward Now she smoke some with me Cause she can't mentally And she need some relief But now I Stay in the streets Don't got no family Same clothes every week And all I see Is a block full of weed As long as they got some for me Blow and methaphetamine Me and my bro Once we hit teenage Man im sick Of this shit everyday So we put Hands on my dad It was bad And then ran away Its not easy to say Mom would sleep all day So she can escape Grind my teeth full of hate This is not a mistake This my life til today Although now I'm gone My brain Is still the same place Some shit I just can't explain Shit hurts Its just a lot of pain And no I don't even complain But i go against the grain And i always look insane Im not happy I'm good I'm okay I still thankful I always say thanks And yeah i live in good faith But i cant even remain If this all is in vain I tell my baby That i love her everyday Daddy's trying So you don't feel the same And I know Its a scary place But I'm here for you to save And hope that I'm the dad That i never had Your hero with no cape As I write this tears now Running down my face As I write this tears now Running down my face Tears running down my face Its a part of me i cant let go Cold heartedly i feel so alone To my fam I just want you to know Im okay now I'm grown Im just lost I'm not gone Its a part of me i cant let go And no pharmacy Can help with this cold And to this life Before you take my soul It's okay now I know It's a part of me And its still beautiful I love you daddy