Big Black Suitcase

I never met a man who had all he wanted I never met a man who got the most from life I never met a man who couldn't use a few more things And if I meet that man, I'll talk straight to his wife And I'll say to her "Ma'am, would you like to see these things that I'm selling? They can't do a thing you can't do for yourself And to be frank, they're really not that useful, not at all And in five short days, you'll stick 'em away up on some dusty shelf It ain't Shinola that I'm selling That shit could sell itself It would improve your body Or guarantee new wealth So take a look at all the things in my big black suitcase Mark on the order form the ones you want to buy If you say 'No,' 'No thanks,' or even 'No, not at this time' Then I'll know you're scared because you think that I am full of lies And I'll be sad because I may not carry any Bibles, that's for sure But salvation can be found along with each and every sale Pay now, pay later, it really doesn't matter to me, ma'am 'Cause I will be long gone by the time the bill arrives in your daily mail You think it's Amway that I'm selling Now, that is just not true I guarantee there is nothing faulty Why would I lie to you?