Quincunx

Alright, well, Bernard's not back but I'm gonna try this anyway This is a song I wrote for the Bushwick Book Club Which is also happening tonight But which you are not at, 'cause you came here This was for their show about the letter Q And I feel like maybe I've had too much of this beer to do this song properly But maybe not Quincunx Quincunx Quincunx Let's say you got five people Quincunx And they all wanna have sex with each other Quincunx I mean they wanna have a real good time Quincunx I mean they wanna have a lot of fun Quincunx But it might be a little awkward Quincunx Because they got two couples but then they got an extra one Quincunx Well, I think I've got an organizing principle Quincunx That's gonna solve all your problems You put one on the left side One on the right side Another on the left side Another on the right side One in the middle And form a Quincunx Quincunx It's sorta like a square Quincunx But with five points Quincunx Now, let's say you're God 'Cause why not? Quincunx And let's say you're trying to design a real pretty flower Quincunx One that will show those gods from the polytheistic religions Quincunx 'Cause some of them like your work, but most of them just think you're a hack Quincunx So when you're arranging those petals Quincunx You need something fresh, you need something new Quincunx Well, God, I think I got something for you Put one on the left side One on the right side Another on the left side Another on the right side One in the middle And form a Quincunx Quincunx Oh wow, God's really stepping up his game Quincunx 'Cause those petals, they're like, in a square shape Quincunx But with five petals Quincunx Now, let's say you're a dicemaker Quincunx 'Cause why not? Two minutes ago, you were God Quincunx And you're trying to make the dice You know, you put a dot in the middle for the one And you put two dots sort of diagonally for the two And then you combine them and make a diagonal line for the three And you put, like, one in each corner for the four But then you come to the five and you're like "What do I do? Do I put them all one side? Do I make a really long diagonal line? It seems like it would be unbalanced" Well, I got some advice Why don't you just do what dicemakers have been doing for centuries And put it in the shape of a quincunx? Oh, you're not inventing dice I should have explained that So put one on the left side One on the right side Another on the left side Another on the right side One in the middle And form a Quincunx Quincunx I can't believe you thought you were inventing dice Are you fucking stupid?