Everything You Didn't Want to Hear

I could never date you because I'd slowly grow to hate you But I'll progress around the circle just to keep you in my arms Advertise myself as grateful and considerate, but that's toxic And it won't exonerate me of my shortcomings at all She was lying Miles hasn't climbed a tree in years Rather party in the airplane than write odes or other art And I'm dying Tranquilize me with complacency Replacing all the holy nectar leaking from my heart "Eli, why'd you do it? Why'd you take down all your music?" I'll admit, it was a misstep trying not to be perceived And yet, I don't deserve the twenty strings and thirteen wires Living with me in my bedroom, at least that's what I belive She was lying Miles sleeps since January Beating off, redownload Tinder, this was fucked up from the start And I'm dying Tranquilize me with complacency Replacing all the holy nectar leaking from my heart Everything that I touch turns to dust Can't find a better way to say it's corpses to the ground Keep building your life inside a shell of skulls But tell me how to keep on living when myself I haven't found She was lying And Miles was the victim "Oh, I'm so sad," shut up, fucker, yeah, you really played the part And I'm dying Tranquilize me with complacency Replacing all the holy nectar leaking from my heart I want to make something I want meaning I want to f*ck up I want meaning I want to learn alive I want meaning I want me I want meaning And it's a shame (you know, from which I derive sexual pleasure) I couldn't talk you down from conceited entitlement And I'm crying, as the curtains close again I'll renounce all that I've said to make amends