To Socialize

Everybody coming on their visits, be like wow But after they've been leaving, they are more about the doubt I am kinda used it, so i just keep it down But don't you lie to my face, so you can talk behind my back No that makes me pull out the pen, we're about to explode Stab me in the back like that, is something to avoid You know how I get, so please leave me alone My head is kinda complicated, it is not to be controlled Every waking day is challenge to me I'm finding it hard just to be in society Cause when I'm thinking, I'm beginning to question myself Every person on the street, i don't they want me well Getting ready for the worst, just to pass a stranger Getting mad at myself, when I see that I was never in danger It's stressful All I want for myself is that inner peace Cause then I would act normal, in some way I think I'm feeling like I'm never gonna get a friend and nobody knows what I'm dealing with inside I maybe gonna have to go and try something new, cause I do need some friends to socialize But what's the point of trying, when I feel like I'm a prisoner to my cell and my very own mind I really wanna get out, not to make u proud, but I'm looking for myself and a way to find If my head was tree, then my mind is a tornado I just want control, and embrace all my freedom I know that I'm sick, and maybe need some time yo Day one, or one day, I guess I'll decide tho Will the voice in my head, ever let me be alone? We're all gonna die, didn't say that to spoil I try to relax, but I overthink some But I hope I one day will get the taste of some freedom I know I'm maybe not be that much of an outcast But I know I'm terrified of all the socials, let me relax I know my eyes may look some how threatening But there is a chance of what we think is the same way of thinking I'm spying around like I'm wanted or some What is going on, man I'm such a bum Now you wonder why I stay a lot inside? Cause outside the door, just scares my mind If my thoughts starting to run, imma cut off the legs They are still pushing, tell me who is next? You are gonna judge me, don't u try to flex Imma make u leave, just like my cheating ex Why should I trust, when she was able to cheat? It's story time u see, go get yourself a seat Try to push my buttons, try mentos with some coke It's starting to be messy here, I make paintings with your blood Now we're coming to point where u call me violent You don't know my story, so please stay quiet I don't wanna trust, cause everyone are leaving You don't get my story, so won't u try this feeling I know I shouldn't trust her, I was so blind But tell me now a days, where is real love to find? I'm quiet in the public, my head is not Looking in the mirror, I see a person I forgot I was warned about this, but I didn't listen up May be my fault, but now I should just stop Ever since that time, i haven't opened up Let them see my house, where my life is on top I haven't let nobody in, and this is why These trust issues is too much, and now I'm shy Nobody understands, it's kinda disappointing In my bedroom is my deepest, and here goes nothing