Envelope

Mama caught me crying once again at 2 am Asks me what's been messing with my head To vent, to get it off my chest she says There's nothing I could say that she wouldn't accept Except, I know how much the truth can hurt somebody And I'm the type of person that needs to please everybody I'm sure deep down that she knows what it's about She's just waiting 'til I'm able to be honest and come out, it's so difficult... Do I tell her I feel invisible? How do I say I think about killing myself without killing her? My brains a jail cell and my thoughts are the prisoners The kind with no visitors, no rights and no privileges I'm feeling lost, you won't pick up the phone So I got a pen and paper to write you a song And since no one else will listen I'll just fold it up Take a stamp and put my feelings in this envelope Does anybody notice that I've just been holding pressure that I'm keeping inside? If I were to open up are you close enough to hear what's on my mind? I seem to focus on the worst things in my life But I'm grateful, thankful, for the doubts Cause it gives me something to write about Silly me thought I could forget The person who ran up the steps To talk me off the ledge She saved me within seconds of a permanent descend Little did I know I would just fall for her instead She told me not to trip of course I didn't listen What she didn't know is I was so conflicted Thought I was a goner but it changed the minute She gave me a reason to work hard to fix the broken hearted artist Unaware of all the consequences being high had brought her Let in alcohol as occupants made nights a little warmer The hotter each day became more often her mind would wander Would anybody notice if one day she was a martyr She believed it would solve every problem she caused If she leaves she would never get caught Never have to speak about her dealings she could write a note Take a stamp and put her feelings in an envelope Does anybody notice that I've just been holding pressure that I'm keeping inside? If I were to open up are you close enough to hear what's on my mind? I seem to focus on the worst things in my life But I'm grateful, thankful, for the doubts Cause it gives me something to write about Started with a blank sheet writing this speech Cause I can't speak luckily for me talk is cheap Tried to call but it said please leave a message at the beep But I freeze cause I got cold feet I feel weak at the thought of you reading this I feel greedy for letting you be with this So the least I can do is try to clean the mess You should sleep on it, and appease the rest We could try to make sense of the situation Testing my trials and your tribulations I'm outta time and you're out of patience Tired of waiting for my statement Neither of us wanna elevate this Won't go up to the others face It's gotten us stuck in the same old place But now it's too much so it's time to say it Does anybody notice that I've just been holding pressure that I'm keeping inside? If I were to open up are you close enough to hear what's on my mind? I seem to focus on the worst things in my life But I'm grateful, thankful, for the doubts Cause it gives me something to write about