A Perfect Place To Cry

I sit up on this roof top chillin Trynna convince myself that I don't have no feelings Trynna convince myself that my pain is worth sinning Saying I'm more man than I am, man who I'm kidding? Just give me a second I need to Just give me a second, Give me a sec. Damn I can't even get the words out Way too tough to let the water works splurge out I done done twice the shit you heard bout I done felt ten times the shit I showed My baby think I'm warm and my momma think I'm cold I used to be reserved, when the f*ck I get so bold? Maybe being a floor mat got me stepping on some toes I hope my feelings never show I still suppress when im alone So please done ever think When the lights is all low I be here all by myself and I be letting tears go No F*ck that For some reason I think Im stronger than Showing emotions through all the commotion Im arguing With me Like what the f*ck is wrong with you I don't not cry because I'm tough I don't cry because its harder to Calloused my heart My brain just followed suit Its gotten so bad, I don't know how to process bad news Stone face aint so comforting when its at you You giving me you pain and I be looking right past you Stop Please Just give me a second I need to Figure out the proper way on how I should respond Like, if I was normal Like if I wasn't so damaged If I was good If I wasnt so manic How would I respond They tell me I should cry No NO F*CK THAT There's no reason I would want that I fail too much just to fail holding my stuff back Please keep it together That phrase always meant don't show The only thing better than late emotions, is a no show Im doing good, then I get hit with a low blow Gran died Don't cry NO NO CPR Mouth to mouth Don't go One compression Broke the sternum Please don't Leave us like this, I still can't cry My mom had to stop giving mouth to mouth because of her tears So what if I Was caught in my emotions Giving all the reasons I shouldn't cry Every time I actually have faith, Im penalized Only time I ever feel fear, is when I'm finna cry I expressed myself to you Just for my pain to make you feel bad Now I'm comforting you because you feel sad And you want me to cry? NO NO F*CK THAT