Distant

Lately I've been hearing people's call for help It's hard to tell if they think my heart's for sale Or they want part my wealth that's why I guard myself It's unfortunate the people whom I was tortured with And formed a clique feel like I owed them shit Going back and forth we arguing Niggas think they special just cause they knew me when I was on they level and the want a medal I stopped dealing with devils I see my relationships and how they changed and switched went from drained and shit to where I feel I've gained something I've seen all the fakes and dismissed them They reach for me thank god I'm distant They speak on me like I don't listen I'm hearing the best parts of living I'm drifting I fear I'll go missing I wish I wasn't so distant I should be distant woefully Low-key hopefully cause I hurt people close to me They're supposed to be my friends Totally we openly depend On each other vocally but My emotions lead to ends Solely it's my fault I know that it's my wrongs Control over my thoughts I want but seems like I lost I hide behind myself like camouflage Its self sabotage that's why I'm at odds when I write till my hands fall off My pen is repenting my demons I went in go deep in my feelings Regret and relentlessly screaming I need to chill when I feel I'm the villain I don't listen when my feels start to fill in Maybe I should be more distant Can't lose out on the love that I have I hate what I say what I do when I'm mad and I can't take it back It's tragic when it happens but I go to the pad Instead of panicking and wear my mask again I use my passion to trap the madness The same passion that reacts to backlash The last thing I want to be is an outcast I'm scared to say I make mistakes But I'm human so why do I mask the shame I've made a lot just please don't run away I've been in my bag for a minute I ask don't think of me different I'll only feel more distant I don't want to feel like the villain I don't want to feel like the victim I don't want to feel like I'm distant