kinda don't wanna exist

Kinda don't want to exist But I'll deal with it Put on my makeup Make it look like I'm on top of shit Breaking at the seams but no one seems to notice me Gotten way too good at acting like I'm over it Kinda don't want to exist But it's not that bad I'm just a little bit dramatic Get it from my dad And he would tell you I've been like this since I was a child Anyway, it will work out it always does somehow I just don't know how to regulate my emotions Empty or spilling over (That's all I know) Don't want to exist I'm just winging it Thought by now I would've found a way to deal with this But I'm stuck on autopilot, My life's on repeat Swear a year ago feels like it happened just last week Really don't want to exist But is that so bad? Would anybody even notice if I weren't around? It's not like I want to die I'm just thinking out loud I wish everyone would stop asking if I'm alright (Ugh) I just don't know how to regulate my emotions Empty or spilling over (That's all I know) I just don't know how to Stop these thoughts from coming Maybe I'm the problem (Don't want to know) I'm sorry (I see you) (You think you're funny?) Sometimes I wonder if I even want to be okay Is that okay?