Before

Glittering lake under a splintering dock I get a piece of it to take home And I pick at the wood under skin Sunlight slipping and spinning new days as I stood In a moment, I'll try to recapture Through mushrooms and speeding through stop signs and bleeding I wish there were things I never understood The time before knowing The silence preceding a knock at the door The light 'til shadows cast on me over and over again How to be smaller again To pretend A beautiful wake, I cried too long and too late After the service, for the kids running fast Through the manicured lawn, untouched by what had been lost Just for a moment, though I know it'll pass Losing is so long All my love stuck in a time that will always be gone The time before knowing The silence preceding a knock at the door The light 'til shadows cast on me over and over again How to be smaller again To pretend Though it is fleeting in theory A body remembers a notch in the wood Though I was too young to have understood The beauty in the time before knowing The silence that I could afford to endure The light before shadow brought me a comfort that I can ignore I can't live in before Anymore