Lifeguard in the Carpool Lane

Hold still, you road kill I'm about to swallow six pills And still jump behind wheel I'm not evil I'm chill I'm just so cold you can't tell Well, it's not quite murder yet But Elizabeth is killing this set What's that burning aroma? This pervert's a nervous wreck I have no remorse And mean no disrespect But of course I'll resort To brute force Like an automatic reflex At least there's a lifeguard in the Carpool lane With a gas mask in traffic strapped To her face I need to stop drinking soon Cuz I don't f*ck with water I keep waking up with Weird bruises and strange dudes Like Paul Ryan and Scott Walker It's just pot you guys knock it off It's not like I'm out here rocking it Up And doing foilies and chasing Dragons and shit Hell, I wouldn't even get caught Lifeguard in the carpool lane Lifeguard in the carpool lane I don't know when I'm leaving But I'm going out with a bang At least there's a lifeguard in the Car pool lane Lifeguard in the carpool lane Lifeguard in the carpool lane I don't know when I'm leaving But I'm going out with a bang At least there's a lifeguard in the Car pool lane Some memorabilia To remember me by Cuz time flies And I've had it with you guys Look, The only reason I'm not a Crack baby Is cuz mom can't cook Now I'm late for speed dating These obsessed jealous bitches couldn't posses half my talent even If I wrapped in a present in the Spirit of Christmas I'm an obnoxious liberal, Agnostic criminal Cynical and literate I'll literally Steal the show. I write letters to the editor To discredit my competitors With predator rhetoric, using Senators as metaphors. Hit or miss In a drive by Cuz this magic trick Got stuck in traffic I'm flabbergasted and blew my last Gasket Bloody murder at 8 I'm running a little late At least there's a lifeguard In the carpool lane Lifeguard in the carpool lane Lifeguard in the carpool lane I don't know when I'm leaving But I'm going out with a bang At least there's a lifeguard in the Car pool lane Lifeguard in the carpool lane Lifeguard in the carpool lane I don't know when I'm leaving But I'm going out with a bang At least there's a lifeguard in the Car pool lane Inappropriately flippant political Gimmick You're the human equivalent of Some scratch-off lottery ticket Superlative subversive Most literate chick Most likely to appear on America's Most wanted I don't do group projects (unless It's group sex) I'd rather be Bobbing for apples in A vat of acid instead Berating teens for the way they Stink Like they wore cum rag sheets for Halloween We need a squeegee for these Ouija boards These sick teenage kids don't need Anymore Catch a case of Covid but can't Catch a flight With these grounded airlines There's no plane in sight The only way to get around is by a Flying sidekick Couldn't see this coming cuz You're not psychic And there's just enough tests left To bring back gun violence At least there's a lifeguard in the carpool lane