count the rings

I step outside and take a walk to try to clear my head It's midnight and the stars are bright in northern Michigan Nights like these I'm not really that sure just who I am So the best that I can do is get some air and try to make it all make sense The night is cool, and there's a whisper of a breeze It takes its precious time as it rustles through the leaves I concentrate on things that I can smell and hear and see And as I ground myself, I feel so small beneath the branches of the trees Who am I? What's inside? Split me open, count the rings Maybe then you might find twenty nesting dolls of me Twenty tangled intertwining histories To care for them and carry them around, it's heavy I wonder what would happen if I peeled it all away When every layer's been stripped back, I wonder what would stay I wonder what there's left beneath the doubt and shame and habits I'm not proud of I know there's room to grow and put new roots down, so why do I still doubt it? I think I'm scared I won't feel different when it's done Are we shaped by water, earth, and years around the sun? Or am i predetermined, doomed to fossilize where I've begun? Could I be a person that I'm finally proud to show to everyone? Who am I? What's inside? Split me open, count the rings Maybe then you might find twenty nesting dolls of me Twenty tangled intertwining histories To care for them and carry them around, it's heavy I look up, and I can see a thousand stars It's weird to think about how many other worlds there are I wonder if there's someone else who's looking from afar And I wonder if on nights like these they're not really that sure just who they are