fooling myself

I wake up to a cold empty bed I untangle my hair and unscramble my head You can't have gone far, but I don't see your car I'm suddenly saturated with dread There's a note on the counter by the sink Scrawled and scribbled on a postcard in still-drying ink My worst fears have come true; I'm not good enough for you i wish I could forget how to think How could you do this to me How could I ever believe How could I be so naive I was fooling myself, wasn't I, wasn't I Fooling myself, wasn't I Fooling myself, wasn't I Fooling myself Has this always been inevitable You just needed someone, but I needed you Every time you lashed out, I wanted to shout But I refused to become like you too Every time that I look in the mirror I can almost imagine that you're still here You've seeped into my laugh, you'll be my epitaph Long after I disappear How could you do this to me How could I ever believe How could I be so naive I was fooling myself, wasn't I, wasn't I Fooling myself, wasn't I Fooling myself, wasn't I Fooling myself When I said You were my best friend I take a deep breath, and I cry, and I realize And I let this end I throw the postcard away If you won't, then why should that old paper stay Although I'm not proud Of the thunder and clouds I just know there is blue past the gray