hoping it's october

The birds are all dead Died in the winter I watched them choke on cold air From my window in september I wrote another note i thought it would be the one But soon my hands were so cramped and my eyes have truly sunk Into some form of stupor, some delusion where i'm wanted A claustrophobic dream where my past friends think i'm harmless again You be the captain, i'll be the anchor Drop me into the bloody seas when you want to I may be drowning but it doesn't matter As long as i get to see you fuel yourself, it's okay I didn't pull up the ladder then But i can't see my reflection So how selfish would it be if you could see mine I know you aren't one for crying We'll be sleeping through the summer Infected cuts and bloody splinters At least until october Because you need to embarrass yourself In front of all your past friends at the homecoming dance I envy joanna lopez, no matter if she's real or not Because she got to disappear completely, the girl that time forgot