the summer ends!

Summer never ends in my room all alone Stockpile bags of pills to dry swallow just how i feel "It's not you, it's 100% you and your brain." Walking down the aisle, tongue-tied "What do you want to do with your life?" I want to end it, isn't it so fucking obvious? (I lost it all in the worst of the seasons, the sickness spread with a sense of regret, my Eyes refuse to focus to exist, this lack of self does its best to forget!) (*Incoherent screaming* I'm falling short of what my breathing demands, oh!) (I won't be here to correct you when you use my deadname! i won't be here to forget You!) I feel so fucking illiterate The seeds that were planted in my mouth have hatched a plan To hijack my brain and make me feel joy again I feel so fucking belligerent Why must i always stop the knife from going into my skin And hitting styro so i don't pass out? I feel so fucking illiterate The seeds that were planted in my mouth have hatched a plan To make me feel dumb and make me feel young again I feel like i was never fit for this I was never meant to be here for more than these 16 years Why must i always resign myself to being so depressed? IT'S FAMILIAR TO ME!