Rap God

(intro) Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings But I'm only going to get this one chance Something's wrong, I can feel it (For six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on) Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen But I don't know what if that means what I think it means We're in trouble, big trouble And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances (You are just what the doc ordered) VERSE I'M BEGINNIN' TO FEEL LIKE A RAP GOD, RAP GOD ALL MY PEOPLE FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK NOD, BACK NOD NOW WHO THINKS THEIR ARMS ARE LONG ENOUGH TO SLAP BOX, SLAP BOX THEY SAID I RAP LIKE A ROBOT, SO CALL ME RAP-BOT BUT FOR ME TO RAP LIKE A COMPUTER MUST BE IN MY GENES I GOT A LAPTOP IN MY BACK POCKET MY PEN'LL GO OFF WHEN I HALF-COCK IT, GOT A FAT KNOT FROM THAT RAP PROFIT MADE A LIVIN' AND A KILLIN' OFF IT EVER SINCE BILL CLINTON WAS STILL IN OFFICE WITH MONICA LEWINSKI FEELIN' ON HIS NUTSACK, I'M AN MC STILL AS HONEST BUT AS RUDE AND INDECENT AS ALL HELL, SYLLABLES SKILL-A-HOLIC, KILL 'EM ALL WITTHIS FLIPPITY DIPPITY-HIPPITY HIP-HOP YOU DON'T REALLY WANNA GET INTO A PISSIN' MATCH WIT' THIS RAPPITY-RAP PACKIN' A MACK IN THE BACK OF THE AC, BACKPACK RAP CRAP YAP-YAP YACKETY-YACK AND AT THE EXACT SAME TIME I ATTEMPT THESE LYRICAL ACROBAT STUNTS, WHILE I'M PRACTICIN' THAT I'LL STILL BE ABLE TO BREAK A MOTHA-FUCKIN' TABLE OVER THE BACK OF A COUPLE OF FAGGOTS AND CRACK IT IN HALF ONLY REALIZED IT WAS IRONIC, I WAS SIGNED TO AFTERMATH AFTER THE FACT HOW COULD I NOT BLOW? ALL I DO IS DROP "F" BOMBS, FEEL MY WRATH OF ATTACK RAPPERS ARE HAVIN' A ROUGH TIME PERIOD, HERE'S A MAXI-PAD IT'S ACTUALLY DISASTROUSLY BAD –- FOR THE WACK WHILE I'M MASTERFULLY CONSTRUCTIN' THIS MASTER PIECE (YEAH) CUZ… VERSE I'M BEGINNIN' TO FEEL LIKE A RAP GOD, RAP GOD ALL MY PEOPLE FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK NOD, BACK NOD NOW WHO THINKS THEIR ARMS ARE LONG ENOUGH TO SLAP BOX, SLAP BOX LET ME SHOW YOU MAINTAININ' THIS SHIT AIN'T THAT HARD, THAT HARD EVERYBODY WANT THE KEY AND THE SECRET TO RAP IMMORTALITY LIKE I HAVE GOT WELL TO BE TRUTHFUL THE BLUEPRINT'S SIMPLY RAGE AND YOUTHFUL EXUBERANCE EVERYBODY LOVES TO ROOT FOR A NUISANCE, HIT THE EARTH LIKE AN ASTEROID AND DID NOTHIN' BUT SHOOT FOR THE MOON SINCE (PPEEYOOM) MC'S GET TAKEN TO SCHOOL WIT' THIS MUSIC 'CUZ I USE IT AS A VEHICLE TO 'BUS THE RHYME', NOW I LEAD A NEW SCHOOL FULL OF STUDENTS ME? ME, I'M A PRODUCT OF RAKIM, LAKIM SHABAZZ, TUPAC, N -W-A, CUBE, HEY DOC, REN, YELLA, EAZY THANK YOU, THEY GOT SLIM INSPIRED ENOUGH TO ONE DAY GROW UP BLOW UP AND BEIN' IN A POSITION TO MEET RUN-D.M.C AND INDUCT THEM INTO THE MOTHAFUCKIN' ROCK 'N ROLL HALL OF FAME EVEN THO I'LL WALK IN THE CHURCH AND BURST IN A BALL OF FLAMES, ONLY HALL OF FAME I'LL BE INDUCTED IN IS THE ALCO-HOL OF FAME, ON THE WALL OF SHAME YOU FAGS THINK IT'S ALL A GAME, 'TIL I WALK-A-FLOCK OF FLAMES OFF A PLANK AND TELL ME WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKIN'? LITTLE GAY LOOKIN BOY, SO GAY I CAN BARELY SAY IT WIT A 'STRAIGHT' FACE LOOKIN' BOY YOU'RE WITNESSIN' A MASS-OCCUR LIKE YOU'RE WATCHIN A CHURCH GATHERIN' TAKE PLACE LOOKIN' BOY OY VEY, THAT BOY'S GAY THAT'S ALL THEY SAY LOOKIN' BOY YOU GET A THUMBS UP, PAT ON THE BACK AND A "WAY TO GO" FROM YOUR LABEL EVERY DAY LOOKIN' BOY HEY LOOKIN' BOY, WHAT'D YA SAY LOOKIN' BOY? I GET A "HELL YEAH!" FROM DRE LOOKIN' BOY I'M A WORK FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE NEVER ASKED NOBODY FOR SHIT, GIT OUT MY FACE LOOKIN' BOY BASICALLY BOY, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BE CAPABLE OF KEEPIN' UP WIT' THE SAME PACE LOOKIN' BOY 'CUZ… VERSE I'M BEGINNIN' TO FEEL LIKE A RAP GOD, RAP GOD ALL MY PEOPLE FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK NOD, BACK NOD THE WAY I'M RACIN' AROUND THE TRACK CALL ME NASCAR, NASCAR DALE EARNHARDT OF THE TRAILER PARK, THE WHITE TRASH GOD KNEEL BEFORE GENERAL ZOD THIS PLANET'S KRYPTON, NO ASGARD, ASGARD SO YOU BE THOR AND I'LL BE ODIN, YOU RODENT, I'M OMNIPOTENT LET-OFF THEN I'M RELOADIN' IMMEDIATELY WIT THESE BOMBS I'M TOTINAND I SHOULD NOT BE WOKEN I'M THE WALKIN' DEAD BUT I'M JUST A TALKIN' HEAD, A ZOMBIE FLOATIN', BUT I GOT YOUR MOM DEEP THROATINI'M OUT MY RAMEN NOODLE, WE HAVE NOTHIN' IN COMMON, POODLE I'M A DOBERMAN, PINCH YOURSELF IN THE ARM AND PAY HOMAGE PUPIL IT'S ME MY HONESTY'S BRUTAL BUT IT'S HONESTLY FUTILE, IF I DON'T UTILIZE WHAT I DO THOUGH FOR GOOD AT LEAST ONCE IN A WHILE, SO I WANNA MAKE SURE SOMEWHERE IN THIS CHICKEN SCRATCH, I SCRIBBLE AND DOODLE ENOUGH RHYMES TA MAYBE TRY TO HELP GIT SOME PEOPLE THROUGH TUFF TIMES BUT I GOTTA KEEP A FEW PUNCH LINES JUST IN CASE 'CUZ EVEN YOU UNSIGNED RAPPERS ARE HUNGRY LOOKIN' AT ME LIKE IT'S LUNCHTIME I KNOW THERE WAS A, TIME WHERE ONCE I WAS KING OF THE UNDERGROUND, BUT I STILL RAP LIKE I'M ON MY PHAROAHE MONCH GRIND SO I CRUNCH RHYMES, BUT SOMETIMES, WHEN YOU COMBINE APPEAL WIT' THE SKIN COLOR OF MINE, YOU GIT TOO BIG AND HERE THEY COME TRYINTA CENSOR YOU LIKE THAT ONE LINE, I SAID ON 'I'M BACK" FROM THE MATHERS LP ONE WHEN I TRIED TO SAY I'LL TAKE SEVEN KIDS FROM COLUMBINE PUT 'EM ALL IN A LINE ADD AN AK-47, A REVOLVER AND A NINE SEE IF I GIT AWAY WIT' IT NOW THAT I AIN'T AS BIG AS I WAS BUT I'M MORPHIN' INTO AN IMMORTAL, COMIN' THROUGH THE PORTAL YOU'RE STUCK IN A TIME WARP FROM 2004, THOUGH AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT YOU RHYME FOR YOU'RE POINTLESS AS RAPUNZEL, WIT' FUCKIN' CORNROWS YOU WRITE NORMAL, FUCK BEIN' NORMAL AND I JUST BOUGHT A NEW RAY GUN FROM THE FUTURE JUST TO COME AND SHOOT YA LIKE WHEN FABULOUS MADE RAY J. MAD 'CUZ FAB SAID HE LOOKED LIKE A FAG, AT MAYWEATHER'S PAD SINGIN' TO A MAN WHILE HE PLAY PIANO MAN-O-MAN, THAT WAS THE 24-7 SPECIAL ON THE CABLE CHANNEL SO RAY J. WENT STRAIGHT TO RADIO STATION THE VERY NEXT DAY, "HEY FAB I'MA KILL YOU!" LYRICS COMIN' AT YOU AT SUPERSONIC SPEED (JJ FAD) UH-SUMMA LUMMA DOOMA LUMMA YOU ASSUMIN' I'M A HUMAN, WHAT I GOTTA DO TO GET IT THROUGH TO YOU, I'M SUPERHUMAN INNOVATIVE AND I'M MADE OF RUBBER SO THAT ANYTHING YOU SAY, IS RICOCHET'IN' OFF'A ME AND IT'LL GLUE TO YOU AND I'M DEVASTATING MORE THAT EVER DEMONSTRATING HOW TO GIVE A MOTHAFUCKIN' AUDIENCE, A FEELING LIKE IT'S LEVITATING NEVER FADING, AND I KNOW THE HATERS ARE FOREVER WAITING, FOR THE DAY THAT THEY CAN SAY I FELL OFF THEY'LL BE CELEBRATING 'CUZ I KNOW THE WAY TA GET 'EM MOTIVATED, I MAKE ELEVATING MUSIC YOU MAKE ELEVATOR MUSIC "OH HE'S TOO MAINSTREAM" WELL THAT'S WHAT THEY DO WHEN THEY GET JEALOUS, THEY CONFUSE IT "IT'S NOT HIP-HOP, IT'S POP" 'CUZ I FOUND A HELLA WAY TO FUSE IT WITH ROCK, SHOCK-RAP WIT DOC, THROW ON "LOSE YOURSELF" AND MAKE 'EM LOSE IT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE SONGS LIKE THAT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WORDS TO USE LET ME KNOW WHEN IT OCCURS TO YOU, WHILE I'M RIPPIN' ANY ONE OF THESE VERSES, THAT VS. YOU IT'S CURTAINS, I'M INADVERTENTLY HURTIN' YOU HOW MANY VERSES I GOTTA MURDER TO PROVE THAT IF YOU WERE HALF AS NICE, YOUR SONGS YOU COULD SACRIFICE VIRGINS TO UNGHH, SCHOOL FLUNKY, PILL JUNKY BUT LOOK AT THE ACCOLADES THESE SKILLS BRUNG ME, FULL OF MYSELF, BUT STILL HUNGRY I BULLY MYSELF, CUZ I MAKE ME DO WHAT I PUT MY MIND TO AND I'M A MILLION LEAGUES ABOVE YOU ILL WHEN I SPEAK IN TONGUES, BUT IT'S STILL TONGUE-AND-CHEEK FUCK YOU I'M DRUNK, SO SATAN TAKE THE FUCKING WHEEL I'M ASLEEP IN THE FRONT SEAT BUMPING HEAVY D. & THE BOYZ "STILL CHUNKY BUT FUNKY" BUT, IN MY HEAD THERE'S SOMETHING I CAN FEEL TUGGING AND STRUGGLING ANGELS FIGHT WIT' DEVILS AND HERE'S WHAT THE WANT FROM ME THEY'RE ASKIN' ME TO ELIMINATE SOME OF THE WOMAN HATE, BUT IF YOU TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THE BITTER HATRED I HAVE THEN YOU MAY BE A LITTLE PATIENT AND MORE SYMPATHETIC TO THE SITUATION AND UNDERSTAND THE DISCRIMINATION BUT FUCK IT, LIFE'S HANDIN' YOU LEMONS- MAKE LEMONADE, THEN BUT IF I CAN'T BATTER THE WOMEN, HOW THE FUCK AM I 'SPOSED TO BAKE 'EM A CAKE THEN? DON'T MISTAKE HIM FOR SATAN IT'S A FATAL MISTAKE IF YOU THINK I NEED TO BE OVERSEAS AND TAKE A VACATION TO TRIP-A-BROAD AND MAKE HER FALL ON HER FACE AND DON'T BE A RETARD, BE A KING? THINK NOT? WHY BE A KING, WHEN YOU CAN BE A GOD?