Your Porch Light Looks Really Bright From Down Here

We went out to this party You had your friends, but I had nobody I went out to this party For lost eye contact and whispered sorries Ooooo Bodies lined up wall to wall Some guy gets punched in the jaw I watch him fall down to my feet And I think he ought to be me Ooooo This is how it was before Kola Superdeep to my core I'm not sad I just don't care It's safe to say we aren't going anywhere Oooooo Tell me where is fancy bred or in the heart or in the head? How begot, how nourished Our relationship is hanging by a thread I can't wait to join your league of evil exes I can't wait to be insecure I can't wait to be reminded Of who I was before You can't wait for me to do this You've been waiting for a week I don't think you ever really loved me You just needed someone like me I'm so shallow But I still drowned You're a sweet girl I feel that I've just let you down You looked to me For stability But I only saw you as a dumbass high school fantasy And I am sorry And I am dumb And I'm a mess Everything we were was just a feeling in my chest I'm so shallow Too cliché too exist Festering /Mu/core sores And I'm in to left wing politics I loved you For our somber interactions And the fact that you used a PUP quote as an Instagram caption And I am sorry And I am dumb And I'm a mess Everything we were was just a feeling in my chest Please forgive me Or maybe just try With the chirping of crickets, I move to the driver's side Under this full moon I can see your eyes And without blinking you say a tearless goodbye You say a tearless goodbye You say a tearless goodbye You say a tearless goodbye At least we sorta had a good time As I drove away, down the hill, back to my side of the neighborhood Down the same streets we once traversed The suburban sprawl overtook me Each tree's branches grasping for the next Each egregious white fence post interlocked with the next Each yellow dashed road marker Reaching for its companion and so on and so forth But oddly, for the first time in a while, I began to feel complete Alone with myself, but happy I never really knew you Smoke rises from brick chimney after identical brick chimney Dissolving into the cool night air, encircling the full moon The same way I once encircled you You were visible to me, but abstract A manifestation of possibility Seemingly unobtainable, but perfect I see you as you are now I was a collection of other people's aesthetic choices and opinions I wasn't ready to share myself yet Not in any real way My expectations were immoral My expectations were immature My expectations were evil My expectations were yours Everything we had, everything we thought we had, was ephemeral Just a weed poking its wanting body Through a crack in your driveway Doomed to be trampled on by my lack of emotional maturity Or withered away by our chilling need for self-validation You're a beautiful person. I think you noticed that before me. My veins are slowing (It wasn't meant to last) The outdoors are cold (It wasn't meant to last) My blood's stopped glowing (It wasn't meant to last) I enter my home (It wasn't meant to last) The interloper (It wasn't meant to last) Has taken its leave (It wasn't meant to last) Our goldenrod (It wasn't meant to last) Was just a weed