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Backside melts into a sofa My world, my TV, and my food Besides listening to my belly gurgle Ain't much else to do Yeah, I sweat a lot Pants fall down every time I bend over And my feet itch Yeah-I married a scarecrow I hate you Talking to myself Everybody's starin' at me I'm only bleedinSomeone taps me on the shoulder every 5 minutes Nobody speaks English anymore Would anybody tell me I was gettin' stupider? I hate you Talking to myself You don't feel it after awhile You take the beating I'm a swingin' guy Throw a belt over the shower curtain rod And swing - - - Toss me inside a Hefty And put me in the ground A drink needs me I don't I ain't about to guzzle no tears so kiss my ass newscasters, cockroaches, and desserts I hate you Talkin' to myself Everybody's starin' at me I'm only bleedinWhere are the kids? maybepregnantorondrugs oronwelfareontopoftheworld donthehonorrolonparoleontheDodgers onthebackofmilkcartonsonstakes inthemiddleofcornfields oncoversoffuturehistorybooks onoldlady'smantleswalkin'onwaternailedoncrosses I think it's time I had a talk with my kids I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT NOTHIN