Grief Unbelonging

Grief unbelonging to me keeps my eyes open tonight Paints the air something surreal Whispers the word remember And I do I remember Something serial In the elbow-crook of her smile Sugared futures promising lifetimes of a mother's love Her voice tickles my ear-drums And air drums against my skull The pressure is deafening I mourn the loss rather than the life I mourn what could have been People die everyday they tell me Hearts slow to the pace of a dripping tap and then nothing at all