Dear Universities

Please let me on your English course I swear I'll do real good I'll do all that poetry shit a real student should I'll finish my assignments if it takes me up to four I'll be the first one knocking on the college library doors I probably shouldn't send you this because it sounds like ass But I think I'd be real comfy in your best English class If you let me do some writing, I think I'd do real fine I'll sell my soul to your control if you're that way inclined Leeds, Newcastle, Manchester, any campus will do I'd fit right in at Lancaster, I'd quite like Durham too I'd sell myself to rock and roll but once that cash is spent I need a nice apartment and these songs don't pay my rent I'd put 3 years on a degree if it finds me a job Despite the high class texts that make me feel like a knob How could it happen to be My statement looks like gibberish I can't get myself into this So could you just accept me I offer nothing but my word Anything more would be absurd I really need this degree Vice aren't hiring janitors Receptionists, or new interns I'll even pay the full fees My money's wasted anyway On ramen, shoes and takeaways If this song didn't convince you Refer it to my source Frustration, desperation, and anxiety of course If your doors are feeling open Take me in for a few I'll give 9 grand a year, that's how much that I love you