Down By The River

(I'm working on dying) A change gon' come Uh, yeah I done been through this It's hard for you to listen to me 'cause you ain't been through shit Shut off my mind and follow my heart, so I took plenty risks How the f*ck you hatin' on me, like God ain't give me this? It was designed for me to fail when I started Long as I'm breathin', gotta exhale, so I'ma win regardless They get depressed 'cause my success but I'm the one went the hardest Knew the coach seat'll turn to a jet soon as that bitch departed All the dumb shit I did was just a test 'cause I'm the smartest Now I look back on my life like I wasn't shit but a kid walk in the pitch black with no nightlight All the sneaky shit led later to all the secrets I had Runnin' from death, all the reapers I slid Duckin' discreet, I ain't seein' a bid And now I hate to be in my head Lonely, afraid to sleep in my bed Stuck in my thoughts, sinkin' Had to play dumb when I was young, ain't wanna get caught thinkin' Facin' the ground, can't look at the sun, ain't wanna get caught blinkin' Watched my circle get knocked off and now we all shrinkin' Now I'm always drinkin' Streets made our heart cold, now we all anemics Blood on that money, it ain't green to me I can barely tell you what you mean to me Nigga can't never betray me, I don't even need a team Life a movie but you can't play me, I don't even need a scene I can't get no help 'cause I don't need a thing Champion with no belt, never received a ring Gave out too much love, no more love, I ain't feelin' loved Gotta go cleanse my body, so many drugs, I can't feel the drugs Drop tears when I get a hug, got too used to niggas gettin' slugs Start puttin' my dogs in the wall, got too used to niggas gettin' dug Six feet, everybody I know six feet All the people I knew, that's why hammers gettin' drew You'll get killed too, try and bitch me You get put on a plate, thinkin' shit sweet You get killed broad day, try and get to me I get up every day, try to get rich as me I got more Cuban links than Mr. T I be stressin' though, you be stressin' though Then my stress just add on to your stress until we stressin' more I was stressin' less when I was broke, but it's a blessin' though It's so hard for me to shake my past, I learned my lessons though Where I'm tryin' to go, sometimes I don't even know Mentally, I'm broken, sometimes I don't even show it I be plantin' seeds, sometimes I don't see them growin' I was supposed to leave, gave up and I never spoke it Caught a fed case, then lost my nigga , it got me back totin' I'm like, "F*ck niggas," but heart so big, it got me wide open Scared to leave my energy with my kids, got me outside rollin' Comparin' the shit I'm doin' with what I did, it got me back smokin' What's my destiny? I know it, will I fulfill it? Shit, I'm hopin' It's my passion and I know it Tell you I'm thuggin' but I'm copin' All this money don't mean nothin' Pass out hunnids like they tokens And my future, I can't control it, but I be damned if I blow it, uh