Addiction

My name is G-Shaw and I'm an addict Up to now I've completed 10 steps This is the 11th College degree with a passion for music My parents don't believe I can do it I'm finnin to do it not finnin like fish Music addiction not my wish They say I don't have a shot can't swish Music addiction not my wish This opportunity I can not miss Music addiction not my wish Will I believe them give up and quit Or act like a Lambda and don't quit When this happened wasn't sure what to do This here somethin' that I haven't been through Started rappin' after my degree Had no idea how to be an emcee Learning how to rhyme and manage my time Gotta catch up I'm really behind Physical pain and emotional pain Are experienced in the same part of the brain When people suffer emotional rejection The same part of the brain will light up As if you stuck them with a knife Some say Addictions begin with pain All addictions are attempts to soothe the pain So the real question is Not why the addiction but why the pain What you usually will find is emotional loss or trauma Missed my college roommates wedding cuz of my addiction Had no money to go our relationship different Caught in my addiction I did not RSVP I forgot about it Dan the fault belong to me Go to Sam's wedding but a brother homeless Will takes me to the wedding Will knows this Staying with Will at Penn State I'm homeless I'm jobless, hopeless and I'm homeless No money in the bank no place to call my own Havin' constant visions of the microphone Writin' rhymes even though I deal with tough times Even cried myself to sleep a few times Mom gave me fifty for Sam's envelope Had to keep ten of it I was dead broke Now I can only give Sam forty bucks In this position like a vacuum sucks Mom gave me fifty for Sam's envelope Had to keep ten of it I was dead broke Now I can only give Sam forty bucks In this position like a vacuum sucks Whether it's a sex addiction or internet Relationship, shopping or work addiction These are all attempts to get away from distress All the twisting and bending we go through Just not to be ourselves for a few hours causes distress Why would somebody not want to be themselves Because they are in too much distress and in too much pain It originates from pain My addiction's bad I've done many shows That nobody came to support and see me flow Only thing I could do was gain composure Put the stage on fire cuz I gain exposure All these shows in New York City Bus ride dolo nobody wit me Lose thoughts of witty feelin' self pity Wonder why there no support from my city Dealin' with this time and time again Friends I get no support from them Alienated cuz talent and skills Situation like landfills Stopped carin' if people come to my show People support people that they don't know Stopped carin' if people come to my show Next thing I know my addiction grow Whatever you do Don't try an escape your pain but be with it Because the attempt to escape from pain Is what creates more pain That is the reality with addiction But the question is How can people be with their pain Only if they sense some compassion from somebody Only when compassion is present Will people allow themselves to see the truth So Addicted people