monologue

All my life I feel the way an actor feel Struggle through my lines Never fully certain it's real Spend most of my time Trynna figure out the deal In terms of worlds I can tell you that's far from ideal Ask myself the question like the line lifted from Hamlet Worry I won't deliver like I'm goods damaged in transit Need a queen that'll fully be knowing the gambit Thought I found the one but I think she don't wanna chance it Always wonder what it is I do to break relations When it's all said and done approach with trepidation When I close my eyes at night feel more like meditation Hope one day I can make choice without no hesitation Lonely views from a balcony floor twenty four Spend some time on memories I can barely afford Wonder about what's possible and best left unexplored Losing at the game of life yet no one keepin score When it all ends we leavin this life empty handed It don't matter in the end to what degree we planned it We all equal in the end six feet down each our caskets We can sleep every night knowing that it's our practice Maybe that isn't the worst, feel misunderstood Wonder if I'll be buried by where my dreams once stood So I think way back to a memory of childhood Why am I given the choice of success or salud Come to think when given choice some days it feeling moot I pretend that choosing one is something more minute Crave the feeling that one day I will feel resolute Then perhaps I can sensate the peace I wish I could Open mind Open heart Open body Late nights With some Drinks of Bacardi Real shit Got some baggage It's shoddy Real shit Hope that I'll Be somebody No I can't understand it Oh no I cannot stand it I've done a lot of thinkin' I got a lot to ponder what am I really missin' And that shit makes me wonder Some days I lack commitment And have no dedication And I won't go the distance I'm runnin' out of patience I don't want no more I don't know what am I fighting for