Pray For Change

I carry the weight of my losses The truth and all my mistakes Depended on many, my pride has been broken, misplaced, and torn from its face I put all my anger aside, I reflect, and it's true what they say. I needed a moment, I needed some time, and I know that I needed to take on a Change I'm mad at myself, cause I know that I needed to focus on Change I lied to myself, I refused to accept it Left with a statement, now I regret it Lead with a purpose, and this is my message I wanted to share with the world how it feels when you're living a lie and you've taken advantage Im needing some Change Afraid of what I could have been Change I refuse to hold it in I've taken all the blame You remain the same I don't want to let it go to waste Don't feel so ashamed Just sit and pray for Change Pray for the love, not for the wicked my vision the mission, is praying to god I just want light to the dark I just want peace in my heart Keeping it real isn't hard Real as they say time is just going and going I feel like I'm losing my way My typical day I try to stay focused and hope that the hurt goes away Pray for my uncle that passed and I know that he's flying away I'm praying today The love of my life is now gone and I'm using this time for some change I pray everyday It's not a joke to me, no one's as close to me, now I'm afraid My thoughts are a danger to me and I see it The devil is calling my name I'm needing and praying for Change Afraid of what I could have been Change I refuse to hold it in I've taken all the blame You remain the same I don't want to let it go to waste Don't feel so ashamed Just sit and pray for Change Afraid of what I could have been I refuse to hold it in I've taken all the blame You remain the same I don't want to let it go to waste Don't feel so ashamed Just sit and pray for Change I know that I'm stubborn, and stupid and yes you I can say that I'm dumb You know that I did it for fun And all of the insults have only been making me numb. But I will not run Committed to me, the spirit, the father and his only son They'll get me through anything, when you took everything Words are the only thing left on my tongue, with nowhere to run All of this effort to break me, the damage was already done Domestic abuse to myself, only thing missing were holes in my head from a gun, but I won't give up There's hope in my heart and it's open for you, when I'm all out of luck I promise I'm different, I promise you'll witness, I'm writing to you and it's all out of love I'm going through Change Afraid of what I could have been Change I refuse to hold it in I've taken all the blame You remained the same I don't want to let it go to waste Don't feel so ashamed Just sit and pray for Change afraid of what I could have been Change I refuse to hold it in I've taken all the blame You remain the same I don't want to let it go to waste Don't feel so ashamed Just sit and pray for Change I quit loving myself, I found an excuse and refused to seek help I glued back what was left it wasn't enough and I trashed all the rest Kicked while I'm down, losing myself and with no one around That's why I will never forgive and forget, but the Bible was willingly showing me how I've seen my mistakes, you've been in my place so show me a way I'm contemplating every minute to witness, a message, a calling, a path I should take For misery sake, you know my story been playing it safe Why did you put me through years of distaste, been coming to terms, that you did it for change I was only in denial I was told from day one, that I was dealing with a child And I put this on the Bible That I tried my best to make you happy on arrival Had to fight for my survival And I was dragged through the mud when I saw you as my idol Don't come running to me When you finally see It was them against me Evidently