Inner Demons

I have these inner demons It's like they wanna see me Fall back in To the mess That I was Long ago But I can't Go Back I have these inner demons They do not want to leave me I have these inner demons Let us return to the time When I was much younger and I Was sleepwalking every night Searching for ways to get high 40 bottles and blunts stunts in the car Driving drunk was regular Didn't have a music studio of my own No internet cellulars Was drugged out on cocaine binges Popping a couple of seraquils Back when I worked at Wal-Mart In the photo lab out in the War Zone Burque bred me Even though my parents were from Santa Fe My blood was thin from whiskey Lost in the darkness was my therapy No one was there to carry me When I was stumbling terribly If I died back then, so be it, defeated by drugs In need of a better me But incredibly Made it out even though I won't escape my memories Inner demons creeping the shadows of my mind pestering relentlessly. I have these inner demons They do not want to leave me I have these inner demons I have these inner demons It's like they wanna see me Fall back in To the mess That I was Long ago But I can't Go Back Back in the day when the brick weed was still plentiful Pounds of Mexakindo Mixed with shrooms and drinking Modelo Was a bit of a binger on a bender Acid trips would send us Deep into zones of thoughts That felt like God was the one who sent them Ritualistic sceneries Some said it looked like a sayonce The way we lit candles and sat in circles Having trouble keeping our faces on The race was on But no Finish line or destination Just get high as a space ship Sometimes I wanted to stay there No trip was too hard to handle I was a vet, I'd take a whole hand load Of miniature closed caps Crumble them up and let the water boil I made Fungi Muzak In the pits of my mind's Hell Fought myself so many occasions I'm surprised I haven't fell I have these inner demons They do not want to leave me I have these inner demons I'm still smoking on mad blunts But I quit doing drugs No more 3 day missions Riding with the demons No cocaine or liquor Just steady cheifing And no more drunken walks through Roosevelt Park In the late evenings See it's Been bitter sweet and I feel free since I've left those dark regions But the memories of loneliness are some of these inner demons When they begin To surface get's hot like furnaces in the winter season We all have these things that Eat away at our think caps But it seems that Memories weigh on us heavily So devilish hardly heavenly Leaving some relishing regretingly Holding to heaviness of the heart Never start or even begin to move on Stuck in the negative Not wanting the positive It's a wonder why all of them live Inside of a bottomless pit Of crab bucket mentalities, the reality Is inner demons can be taken out of you