No Jokes For Christmas

It's getting close to Christmas, how did I miss this Don't know what to get for the misses, not giving hippopotamuses' Hold my breath as I pray for forgiveness, I reckon I should have suggested a wishlist Hope she gets this, she's blessed, and so gifted, next on the list Is like an incredible mist, as it sticks to the joists It's moist like the morning dew on the floorboards It's a toy I'm working on for a boy who's 40 It's a ploy, don't get annoyed, just learn I'm a crazy pawn, the one that makes the move that breaks the gong Creative, innovative, new ways to make a song With the bass I'm taking on so I can afford this voice Until new layers spawn, I hoist all the sheets up Glue all the joists, what's the point I'm preying on Do I speak with a foreign twist or gibberish Eat me up like oranges as I deliver this Have a slice or a tablet like I'm a pharmacist Santa's providing you with a horror flick as I start to flip Crack the whip, screaming it's war, I'm sick of the card tricks Got me full of hate, on Dasher on Dancer, make my escape When they try to discombobulate my fate, just know I'm gonna end up great like Checkmate If not, then I nominate my mom who's great to bomb my fate Instead of my enemies, cause I long await to be up on stage Presenting these, need to populate the gates to this place She gotta make it, was it faith Cause she was an angel, no stranger to dangerous minds Or a stage, been through pain for us many a times A great woman who deserves greater love than any hoodlum in mind No stranger to Brooklyn or making a book But this time it's all true, no shaking the cookman Served up a smorgasbord and poured this forth With a glass of wine before I bored the doors up for the last time Be engorged, in what I provided, only a matter of time And it's more than a portion, get lured into the music Put down the booze quick, don't lose it as I cruise in Crashing with it, blasting, causing chaos and cataclysm May toss and turn, till I serve, as I pray, boss is concerned Others will catch me, but they lost as they burn Want me to pay costs, so I know I won't get the day off I need change, how much can you break off Can't get this taste out my mouth Like Worcestershire sauce, my best desire's lost My chest is on fire, coughing, my bestie's a liar Paws off my best Mariah line, now to buy a gift for Tobiah As I get aggressive with pride here, she rests on higher Close to Christmas, and I'm doing tricks Distorted twists, like a contortionist Try to squeeze through the locks, mortises Gotta get in stores at six before their swarming in With deformed morticians, to get more than a portion of my wishlist You can tell I'm not into anti-disestablishmentarianism When I'm here mixing and spitting, I mix a splash with a cherry In it for Sarah and Christian, can I diss a tad of The list of fans married to gift-giving While burying victims of this passion like a fairy Carrying sprinkles of past marriages with them Rarely in this prison of mine, a lair of rhythm Wish it wasn't charity, need clarity I could build words like Build-A-Bear Believe it, I'd do it for silver coins So share some please, still nerds Bestill my loins, could kill birds without The Stone Will learn the point of all this as my will burns Big like a horse, Wilbur Growing gardens, I was a tiller Like Michael with Thriller, now to distill earth Now that I got real herbs But I fear, fear, I fear words and weird birds Where to go from here, uh, sir Phobophobia nearly taking over us But I flow, so float me up and I'm no pro Closing up this show, though no one's showing up Guess I'll go toe-to-toe with my own nuts, ow Where'd the lights go A mic pro, lost in the dark of the night Feel so stuck and a psycho, I don't wanna know where to go Maybe a new light bulb might solve this Riddle with the right favor, cause all my others have blown up So I might savor this, tried a lightsaber But can't see to control these knobs on my nice Dolby digital stereo while I listen to the oldies Like I need more problems to solve, geez This is scary yo, and the more that show up, get buried in this flow Mind is already so crushed to a pulp And I don't want it to revolve around this whole stunt How am I supposed to grow up, be tall enough to land a punch I plan the stunt, I must be magnanimous While I drag like a bag, oh man, damn cannabis To give to fans of this, from rags to riches Panhandling my way, no thanks to managers But thanks, Miss Amaris, so glamorous Hopefully she's jammin' this, said she was a fan of this I manifest that I could soon afford this gift She deserves nervous as I hand her this Maybe a car in a shade of tan will fit, or is it beige Gotta have tinted windows, flip the page, get on stage One day without the indo and spit in rage Till I escape, when I flip this cage I'm in and getaway No infantry will stop me as I drop these gifts on Christmas Day So like the Chili Peppers, I'ma' place a silly bet here and give it away Now hop in the car, it's my getaway Won't get far, unless it's a sleigh Thank God I dropped this gift on Christmas Day, but not explicitly So as the paper's ripped away, you see a gift and say This is lame, bitterly, don't pity me Just let this play infinitely, it's okay Then just pray, my mission's great With a cross around my neck, like it's a lei Like I'm Hawaiian, start cryin' Mele Kalikimaka, hope it's the way Cause on this day, it's the wisest thing to say