Sadness

I have so many thoughts and feelings but no way to properly communicate them I have so many wants and needs but no motivation to make them happen I have so many dreams and aspirations and no inspiration I have been stripped of my humanity and I’m drowning in desperation I have been awake for days and crying about things that aren’t even there I have tried to do better so many times But I really can’t keep pretending that everything’s fine, so I just sit and stare I have these suppressed memories that are beginning to resurface I’ve tried to forget them but now I’m starting to think I deserve this I’m not a good guy I’m one of the worst But I put on a mask so my heart doesn’t burst I am vulnerable and scared I am fully aware that I caused my own pain And I can’t get it to go away But that’s okay If I smile and nod with my tongue against my cheek People will think that I am strong, and not that I am weak I speak in riddles and cry in silence It’s just sadness A simple science The sad thing about this is that my doctor gave me a pill and said “Try This” I’m now reliant on a chemical to keep me sane But I’m still just so afraid so I breathe in fire, and exhale the smoke But if you ask what’s wrong I’ll say “I Don’t Know” Here it goes Again Do you feel that Are you anxious too I’m stuck inside this monstrous cycle What do I do