Lavender

Lying alone in a field of lavender Hates a disease and I think I'm a carrier Life is a movie, mine is a clip Gun to my head, empty the clip Living is work and I wanna resign None of my friends are actually mine Waste of space and a waste of a life I just wanna slit my throat with a knife Don't have the drive to do shit anymore Getting out my bed has become a chore Im so lonely this side of the border My mind is chaotic ruled by a disorder Don't think i've forgot all that shit you said You left me to rot, wishing me dead Proving my worth yeah ripped to shreds It wont fucking stop till there's nothing left Rip off your fingers Smell of death lingers Rope there to swing yuh Kill everything huh Rip off your fingers Smell of death lingers Rope there to swing yuh Kill everything huh Rip off your fingers Smell of death lingers Rope there to swing yuh Kill everything huh Rip off your fingers Smell of death lingers Rope there to swing yuh Kill everything huh It's all my fault because it always is Oldest brother I'm not gonna be missed Sat alone in my room I reminisce On days out with friends now I hear them hiss I just want a reason to save my wrists Give me a reason keep going through this My sadness invalid, happy can't exist Won't reach out for help, parents would be pissed Say shit about me, could never resist Old wounds reopened I can't deal with it The world moves on whether or not I breathe My own stubbornness will be the death of me