Adaptation

Lover are you nervous? A little bit uncertain? Is it problematic that I never really kick the habit? I’ve been hiding bottles Doubling up my CBD Did you even notice that I never disagree anymore Or is this Parr for the course? Why is it ok with you That I just keep myself numb? I don’t know how to keep my confidence up When I’m so under your thumb I don’t feel special, or chosen Or seen as someone with something useful to say I sometimes think you’re with me just because I’m the only one who’s scared enough to stay I never know what’s worse, what will incur less pain: To be seen in full or just remain invisible to you So I tread water When I’m with you I exhaust myself just trying to hold that pose If you love me Like, really love me You will try to grow yourself or let me go I know you think I’m just a coward 'Cause I don’t say this to your face But when I try talk about your power You just dominate the conversation And you’ve got some grand delusion That you’re teaching me something new How to be smart and rational, less insecure How to be so much more like you Well love is not a leading pass And you are not a quarterback You’re a proud, and inconvincible Hallelujah, something that I can teach you: Behold, your plus-sized blindspot, brother Empathy’s not knowing how the other feels It’s knowing that you are NOT the other My broken lover But until you learn that I’ll just tread water When I’m with you I exhaust myself just trying to hold that pose If you love me Like really love me You will try to grow yourself Or let me go I’m so tired of being seasick And riding out your storm How long before I see some kind of shore? Every time I try to stretch my toes To reach the ocean floor I sink a little deeper than before