Foundation

I don’t recognize myself today I’m short of breath and snotty faced Crying in my car alone Stressed out when you’re on your phone in our bedroom And we’ve been struggling for a while But holding steady for the child Drowning dread with food and drink And sex when we don’t wanna think about it Now it’s untenable There’s talk of moving out It’s not quite clear how we got here Maybe it did us in I know it put you out But working on this house has taught me If your walls aren’t plum And your ridge beam sags And your foundation sinks on both sides You’ll do twice the work Tryin' to compensate And it may never look quite right I’m sorry for the way we started I took advantage of your broken heart and fandom So young and so handsome a flower I was older but still so unworthy of my power over you Years later when we reunited It seemed a fresh new start for us But I was blind to the shaky ground you felt Much too blind to see the damage I’d dealt To that trusting To that wandering To that beautiful You Now I’m learning I can’t just hit “reset” On someone I oppressed I can’t ignore every ghost Some things you don’t forgive Some things you can’t forget Sometimes you have to ask the question If your soil is sour And your level’s broke So your foundation sinks in the ground Can you learn to live on the tilted earth Or is it time to tear it all down?